Bend Some Traditions, Break Others

Ok, so this email might offend your sensibilities. I am ok with that if it gets you closer to the life you want.

I want you to start on the path of not accepting everything out of whole cloth. Let’s start with an easy one . . .

Marriage.

I am married to a wonderful woman who I adore. We got married in the Philippines on December 30th, 2011. It was our second wedding.

Wait…what?

I’ve heard of stories where people get divorced and then get remarried but that was not us.

Confused yet?

Let me let you in on a secret. At the end of the day, you get to decide how your life goes. Even if it breaks some norms. I practice that idea every day and it is why I get to have the life I have.

Here is what happened.

I met my wife on a blind date. It’s true! My former assistant met my wife and set us up because she thought we would be a good fit. Three kids later it’s safe to say she was right.

Things moved pretty fast from there and we ended up moving in together before we got married. This is pretty common these days, but it is not always a good thing.

Studies show you have a 33% higher chance of getting divorced if you live together before marriage!

After ten years it is safe to say we dodged that bullet.

Anyway, my parents were not happy about the arrangement even though a wedding day was set. They are very traditional in that way.  

We respect my parents so we decided to have a civil wedding to appease them.

We went down to City Hall in Toronto and got married on April 30th, 2011.

Exactly one year to the day of our blind date.

My parents were happy and we were happy. Everyone was happy!

And, everyone had fun in the Philippines at our second wedding a few months later too!

Why do I tell you this?

Because it does not have to be perfect.

You might disagree with what we did. I am ok with that.

Perhaps you would not do that same thing because of tradition. I am also ok with that.

Do you know what I am not ok with?

People holding onto traditions for tradition’s sake when it does not get them what they want. Like the idea that you have to wait until you are 65 to retire.

We don’t need to bend that tradition. We need to break it!

I spent an entire chapter on The Retirement Myth in my book. You need to understand that it is a trap.

Why should you wait until you are older and less able to enjoy your free time to max out your free time?

Does that make any sense?

Your kids (if you have some) are grown and out of the house by then.  

Your hips, knees, and ankles will be older than they are today. I want to be able to run fast and dance all night while I can!

I want to travel now! And I do!!

But, how can I do this? By breaking the traditional model of “saving” for retirement given to me by the culture (and my parents).

I was willing to bend tradition for my wedding. I outright reject the traditional concept of retirement.

Are you with me on this? Can you choose a different path for yourself? For your family?